Good news, couples! Statistics have finally proven what most of us ‘marrieds’ already knew—we’re happier and have a higher satisfaction from our lives than our single counterparts. For too long the reports on marriage have been tales of divorce, unhappiness and/or infidelity. A new paper studied happiness levels prior to and after marriage, and comparing these levels, confirmed the happiness bump.
The key to all this wellbeing wasn’t simply a ring and a promise to never ditch each other if things get hard, the happiness formula requires deep friendship between couples. In fact, those who consider their partner to be their best friend were about twice as satisfied with their marriages. A married friendship was also proven to inoculate middle aged couples from the unhappiness slump that many experience in part from the stresses of careers and raising children. Married people even live longer (especially married men – don’t get me started on that!). Other studies indicate that being married leads to lower levels of heart disease and cancer.
The kabbalists explain that we have a great responsibility to realize that the health of our relationship influences not just each other, but the world. When there is discord in a relationship between husband and wife, that reverberates throughout the universe and creates animosity and hatred in other places.
Obviously, for all the reasons stated above, it behooves us to put effort and care into our marriages and to constantly strive to grow and be a better partner. There are good marriages. There are bad marriages. But there are no stable marriages, so we must always be working on our marriage, our most important friendship.
- Your mate is your best friend,
- Science has proven that you are happier than single people
- And you are literally influencing the world for good.
But, I don’t share this information just so you can gloat about your good fortune! The point is it’s not enough to be married, if you aren’t happy.
Now, what about the singles? Unfortunately, hunting for love never brings the right partner, it only creates longing and unhappiness. Love is never outside of ourselves, love is within us and what we are looking for can never come from an external place. Fulfillment must come from the inside out.
Frequently, I am asked “when will I meet my soulmate?” It’s a difficult task, part of the difficulty comes from trying to find the right person. To draw the person you desire, you need to become that level of soul yourself. This is where the work comes in, meaning that married or single, we all have the responsibility to continually develop and grow spiritually.
Thought Into Action
This week put extra attention and effort into your most important relationships.