Don’t Cry Over Spilled Coffee

FACT: We all want to be happy!

…and yet, it’s a surprisingly difficult emotion to capture and more importantly to sustain. Happiness is a choice, so why don’t we choose it every second of every day?

Because it’s often a difficult choice. Really, stupidly difficult.

Here is an example. My husband and I were traveling a few months ago to New York from Los Angeles, which is an easy 5 hour flight. We’d just taken our seats (my husband was in the seat next to the aisle), when a fellow traveller strolled down the aisle with a big cup of Starbucks coffee. (Not the grande; rather, it was the venti size!)  Just as he passed Michael, the top of the cup opens up and the entire drink, warm and sticky sweet, spills all over his shirt, pants, and shoes.

(Let’s pause here, would you at this moment, covered in a sugary, sticky, dark drink, at the onset of a 5 hour flight choose happiness?)

While I hate to admit it, my first thought was, thank God that didn’t get on me. I could see Michael struggle with it for a moment – the annoyance, the realization that he was stuck like this for basically the rest of the day. But he said, “You know what, obviously what is best for me in this moment, the Light of the Creator knows, is to spend the next four and a half hours in these sticky clothes.”

He then enjoyed the rest of his day, even making occasional jokes about his predicament!

The challenge is the same for everyone, to choose happiness or to not. Perhaps at no time of the year is this conflict more pronounced than during the month of Cancer. The month of Cancer just started, so I wanted to share some insights and tips about how best to navigate the energy – as well as some knowledge about the Cancers in your life. I must admit… I have a little soft spot for Cancers; how can I not?  I’m married to one.

Cancer is ruled by the moon and Cancers are known for their moodiness, just like the phases of the moon. They are deeply intuitive and very emotional. Paradoxically, some Cancers feel so deeply that they are unable to verbalize their emotions and can seem insincere or unemotional. When a Cancer is happy they are jolly, engaging and charming. Yet just as the moon shifts from new to full, they are just as prone to depression and sadness.

However, a life battling bouts of sadness and depression is not the destiny of any Cancer (or anyone of any sign for that matter!) Let’s look at the source of most of our upset, anger and sadness – in a word, expectations. Frequently, we have expectations ranging from our career goals to how others will behave. We derive dissatisfaction and frustration from the plans that did not go as we intended. The more upset we become, the angrier we become. The sadder we become, the more difficult it is to choose happiness.

What if you are able to change that around, to shift your consciousness? What if you are actually able to enjoy those times when things go off script, even more than the times that went according to plan? That’s what certainty means. It means that I know, without a doubt, that there’s a greater power at work in my life, one that sees the big picture and knows what I really need rather than what I think I need. I call it the Creator, or the Light.

Don’t get me wrong, I make my plans and I try to organize my calendar in a way that I believe is meant to fulfill my purpose and bring the greatest blessings into my life. But I am open to the idea that there is likely a different plan for me. For instance, 10AM on Tuesday I do not have written down: new opportunity for change & growth, or Thursday 3PM: stranger to spill coffee on me. Sometimes the greatest blessings in life are not planned and actually upset my careful planning!

There’s nothing more difficult than consistently having moments when the plan goes completely awry, and instead of becoming angry or sad, choosing instead to completely enjoy them. It’s not easy, but it is so worth the effort. Embrace the moments when everything seems to be going wrong and realize that you are precisely where you need to be.

THOUGHT INTO ACTION
It is estimated that we experience between 3 to 8 frustrating moments a day. Today, see that as 3 to 8 messages from the Creator and opportunities for growth. It’s ok if you find yourself becoming angry or frustrated, allow yourself to feel it, then let it go and look for the good in the situation. There is only one way to grow certainty – through practice.