Feelings are Not Facts

January 26, 2017
Reading time: 4 minutes
Astrology, Self Improvement


This weekend, we welcome the new moon in Aquarius, one of my favorite months. Creativity and inspiration are in abundance, the energy is inspiring and expansive. We can always count on an Aquarius to have a wider view, to shake things up, and to reveal the unexpected. The Zohar explains that it was on the first day of Aquarius that Moses first began revealing the secrets that we now call the wisdom of Kabbalah. The energy of this month supports opportunities for creating great change in the world.


And what a potent time for the change-maker in all of us.  


Kabbalah teaches that the beginning of the month is a time of connection, a time to understand the challenges and gifts of this window in time so that we can apply this knowledge to our lives. After all, forewarned is forearmed. What is activating you this month? Where do want to expand in your life? Where are you feeling called to be more creative? Where do you desire the most change? Meditating on these questions is an ideal way to utilize the positive energies of Aquarius in your life.


However, each positive must also have a negative. For everything you want to do, there is a something that holds you back. Just as Aquarius is creative and powerful, he dark side is a prideful stubbornness. For example, if you find yourself in a battle of wills with an Aquarian, don’t try to beat them with logic or future consequences, that will do nothing to sway them. Instead, placate them with commiseration – meet them at their emotions. Trust me, I have two close family members, both Aquarians, and this is a tried and true method. The bottom line, don’t tell an Aquarian what to do! It all comes down to ego.


Aquarians hold great potential to share Light. But they also have the potential to let their egos get out of control. This is a challenge for Aquarians in particular. They are skilled at seeing the bigger picture and plowing forward in an effort to bring that vision to reality, but in the process they can get so blinded by the concept of their causes and projects that they neglect their relationships with people. This effectively hinders their ability to accomplish their goals, and it’s a trap we can all fall into when Aquarius rolls around.


One way to mitigate the effects of Aquarius is to remember to check in, and more importantly, to decipher fact from fiction… or rather, emotion. A common quality within every Aquarian is the mixup between what is actually happening (logic) and what they’re feeling about what’s happening (emotion). They get caught in the story instead of the reality of any given situation. Because feelings are not facts, the invitation of this month is one of deeper examination. Acknowledging when we’re reacting to reality or when we’re reacting to a story.


Stories are inherently egoic, because in order for the story to affect us we have to be in it and, since it’s our story, we get to be the star. I recall a conversation with a friend after she had been late, for the third time in a row, to a lunch date. As I asked her why she was late, she began a lamenting about how she can’t count on anyone, her babysitter was late, her boss made her stay at work longer, etc. The truth of the situation is that she was just late and instead of acknowledging that fact and taking responsibility, she told a story about her stressful life and how she can’t count on anyone.


When we overly identify with our feelings, we lose the facts and we disconnect from reality. This is our ego working, which seeks to keep us apart from others. It can damage our relationships, our work performance, and our overall ability to accomplish the things we want.  

A helpful tool when trying to figure it out whether it’s feeling or fact, is to simply ask “is that true?”


                “I’m late because my boss made me stay late.”


If we examine this closely we can see that your boss can’t make you do anything. You make the choice.So the truth would be:


                “I’m late because I chose to say yes to my boss instead of no.”


When we look closely at the things that cause our emotions to spike with frustration or resentment, we realize that what we are actually reacting to are the things about ourselves that are less attractive. It’s much easier to tell yourself a story about how your boss is insensitive than it is to admit you have a hard time saying no. However, this is exactly how we grow into the things that we do want to be. You can’t grow unless you admit there is a need for growth and this is something that the energy of Aquarius can offer us. A chance to meet ourselves at our emotions.


With this boundless, creative energy surrounding us we are given a chance to be bigger than we think we can be. A chance to bring about great Light, to accomplish greatness.


Thought into Action

Look at an area of your life where you are seeking change or growth. Notice any negative emotions that arise surrounding this area and then look for what’s true. Begin to separate fact from feeling.




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