Turning Complaints into Goals

July 26, 2017
Reading time: 4 minutes
Motivation, Purpose, Self Improvement


I hate my job, it’s so stressful.

Why am I always so tired?

My spouse never helps around the house.

Do these types of grievances sound familiar? We all have them, the things about our day-to-day lives that we wish were different, in other words, the things about our lives that we find ourselves complaining about. It isn’t easy to admit that we complain, but I’m sure, even as I write this, you are involuntarily thinking of complaints! That’s okay. It is human nature to find fault in things and that is because, as Eckhart Tolle explains, complaining and fault-finding are “ways that the ego strengthens itself.”

The month of Leo is the perfect time to observe and work on our egoistic tendencies, because Leo energy highlights the “I want it my way” voice in all of us, regardless of our astrological sign. On the positive side, this manifests as a straightforward, make-it-happen nature. Leos feel no need to skirt around an issue or hide their true feelings—you can always count on a Leo to give you an honest opinion in the dressing room! Also, the loyalty they show to their friends and loved ones is strong and true, it does not waver…

On the flip side, Leo energy can be arrogant and selfish. With a propensity for thinking that the world revolves around them; ever the king or queen of their kingdom, they seek to rule, regulate and organize their dominion the way they want it, and prefer it. And now you see why the month of Leo lends itself so perfectly to observing our own ego and how it manifests in our lives.

While the ego may be our enemy, we do not want to fight it. Kabbalistically, what we focus on is what we draw in, so to fight an ego would mean to focus on it, enhancing it all the more. This also applies to all of those complaints, focusing on all the things we do not want will only cause them to populate. But what if I told you there was a way to hack your ego, to quietly work alongside it to beat it at its own game, all the while creating a space for blessings? That by fixating on your dissatisfaction for a short time and following it up with actions of change, you are working for yourself instead of against?

It begins with an interesting idea I read about recently. It was an article written by Andrew Wilkinson, the founder of MetaLab, about how he created his perfect workday by fixating on everything he hated. Yes, it sounds backward, but that’s actually kind of the point. This month we will be aligned with the energy of Leo, making it easier than normal to point out everything that is unfavorable to us, because as I’ve said, this is the territory of ego. It knows what’s best for it and that’s that. So let’s lean into that a bit.

As Wilkinson pointed out in the article, he noticed that the people around him who were the most successful in material terms (wealth, status, etc.) were also the most miserable. They were exhausted, never saw their families, were constantly traveling. More generally, they were constantly doing things that they didn’t love. Which brought him to the realization that he could create a day that he did love, by identifying what he didn’t want. Long meetings, packed calendars, and having to be at the office were a few of the items.

I love this approach because it takes us out of resistance mode, it unhooks from the “gimme, gimme” shouts of our ego, and puts us into an energy of empowered action. The complaints and demands of our egos suddenly become guideposts! The things we do not want are simply the opposite of what we truly do want.

Let’s give it a try with the list from above. If the complaint is “I hate my job, it’s so stressful,” what you’re saying is you don’t want a job that brings stress. Now that is something that you can begin taking steps to find. You can look for a position that is more in line with your interests, something that is closer to home, or something that is part-time instead of full-time.

If the complaint is “I wish I wasn’t so tired!” what you’re saying is pretty clear: you don’t want to feel exhausted. Boom! Actionable. You can begin to look for ways to build relaxation into your day, cut back a few unnecessary social engagements, scale down the schedule on the weekend, or even carve out fifteen minutes to meditate.

Complaining about your spouse not helping around the house means you don’t want to be overwhelmed with housework. From here you can look into hiring a cleaning service, subscribing to meal deliveries a few times a week, or creating a plan for more organization.

This may seem difficult and you may feel resistance even as you read this, but that is just ego. It doesn’t want to change, grow, make room, or ease up. Which is why the practice of turning our complaints into anti-goals can work literal wonders in our lives.

Don’t let your ego get in the way of the abundant miracles available to you this month. Instead, use the powerful energy of Leo to transform all of the negativity into divine, right positivity.



Think of the things you complain about and make your own list of Anti-Goals. How can the things that you don’t want, become the road-map to creating what you do want?


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